Monday, March 26, 2012

Beginnings

It's a Monday, and I awoke to a sudden storm. How long had it been going on? I'm not sure. As a child, living on the Gulf Coast, I loved them. I loved the sound of thunder rolling in, taking it's time with the warm up before the big show started. And what a show. Then, the aftermath, soft rain continuing sometimes for several days. Here, the storms are sudden and short. They do their job washing our little piece of earth, then move on.

Earlier, I wrote about the gift(s) I had no doubt I would find in my illness. The firmest diagnosis for what I have is fibromyalgia. Of course, I would have something not well-defined and with no known cure :-). That's okay. I can walk, talk, do pretty much what I want to as long as I don't overdo, which is more than some folks. I am grateful.

This has been a year of exploration. Starting and stopping, then starting again. Searching for answers ... and the good Lord has provided just enough that I don't get too discouraged. But, as usually is the case, the most essential answers were inside of me, just waiting to be discovered. It's time to open them now.

In Taylor Hartman's book, The Character Code, he writes about four major personality types based on individual motivation. I am a red ... my gift is the gift of vision. I often see a bridge and how to build it. My challenge is to be sure I cross the bridge to the other side.

I think it's time I start crossing some bridges.

What bridges do I sense are waiting to be explored? Well, going through quite a bit of family history/photographs is one. Writing a book about my mother, at least getting a working draft, is another. Finding my style statement is a third. I think that's enough for now, don't you?

There are a few others ... getting into the habit of productive routines will support the bridges mentioned above, and some smaller but no less important goals I have in my life. And with fibro, the routine can change from day to day depending on how one feels. I can tell you when the weather is going to change, usually at least 24 hours in advance, based on how I feel. My joints will begin to hurt, or I will get a headache, or my nerves will fire up and I have to ground myself in some way, listening to my body and what it needs. But I refuse to focus on what I can't do.

I can.

Yes, that is the answer that springs from my spirit, the answer that was inside of me all the time, waiting for me to hear it's empowering and flexible voice.