Unexpected

Well, it is Christmas Eve, 2020.

To say it's been quite a year for the world is an understatement. Loads of feelings.

But what I did not expect to feel, this Christmas Eve of all Christmas Eves, is peace. I suppose it's a forced peace, in a way. With Covid and it's accompanying quarantines, there has not been the usual mad dash of parties, get togethers, concert-going, or .... well, anything. Lots to enjoy online, and I realize I'm one of the fortunate few who does well with online intereactions.

But it's peace, nonetheless. And the biggest peace has to do with our oldest son. Going through letting go of what happened to him all over again earlier in the year was not pleasant. I was anything but peaceful.

I was angry. I was frustrated. I wanted justice. (I still do, on occasion.) I wanted our boy back.

I realized I was letting what happened to him destroy me. And I would not give --- that victory.

So I let go. And quarantined.

Thanksgiving came. Only grandma was able to be with us, and between the two of us, we cooked up a storm. Which allowed me to take leftovers to my youngest. My youngest, who has such concern for his father that we can only see him outside, masks on, physically distanced six feet. I'll take it, even when it's below 30 degrees outside.

And now, it's Christmas Eve. Yes, I've thought of my oldest much. But today, while out running errands, I decided to be cheerful. Not in a forced way, but in a 'this is what the world needs' way. And everyone was being cheerful. And helpful. And nice.

Chris would like that.

So on this quiet Christmas Eve, I'll think on that sweet little baby born to save us all. Born to comfort, and heal, and gather. Bornt to redeem. My son is fine. I will, be, too.

I Love ...

Wow. The past six weeks have been quite a test for the world. Covid-19 has turned the world on it's edge, and we are still in the middle of it. As with most of history, these things have happened in the past, and they will happen in the future, but this is the first pandemic of this proportion in my lifetime.

The first two weeks were surreal, and it was easy to be full of positivity that we could get through this all together. (Even with experiencing my first ever earthquake in Utah during that first week, too.)

Hubs stocked up on necessities and some food storage, in case we contracted the virus and couldn't get out for a few weeks. Now, we are only going out for groceries and medical needs. And with the weather changing, the occasional walks.

Darling son has been hiking several times a week. And he has started our backyard garden. Thank goodness for spring.

I won't lie - the past two weeks have been hard. I've felt lower than normal for various reasons. Cover-19 is like putting a lid on a pressure cooker, and everything just wants to bubble to the surface. Overwhelming, to say the least.

There's been a lot of good going on, tho. I hope when people reflect back on this time, they can remember those good things. Sometimes the good things feel far away. Then one day you wake up and realize life is going on and that dwelling on the negative has never felt good, so let's get back to as normal a life as possible in these circumstances, right?

Well, this was going to be a post about what I love. Maybe I overshot the mark. So I'll end by saying goodnight, stay safe, and I love s'more flavored pop tarts.