Some days I feel good - perhaps not great, but generally pretty good. Other days I feel peevish. A friend asked me how I would define peevish, and I replied, "Restless. Like something isn't quite right." But as I can't see that anything major in my life is going wrong, then I assume the something 'not quite right' is something (with)in me.
Today was a good day. Today was a peaceful day. I got up, showered, and dressed, as usual. I am not one to lie about in my pajamas, though in the past I have done some pretty impressive sleeping in. I ironed clothes while listening to religious programming on the TV. Powerful yet loving messages were given, and the music only added to the general sweet tone that washed over me, almost imperceptibly. (I should interject here that ironing usually puts me in a peaceful mood. I find there is something restful yet also hopeful about freshly laundered clothes waiting to be prepared for wearing. The actual work is repetitive enough that my mind is left free to wander or not ...)
Later, while out walking our neighborhood, the pleasant mood continued. My husband and I talked freely of upcoming possibilities in our lives. I have decided, after examining the tone of our conversation, that it is a good thing to practice being hopeful -- ah, there is a worthy goal! I found today that expressing needs and wants in a hopeful manner allowed me to see avenues of action that I had not considered before. Hmmm ... from this moment on, I give myself permission to be hopeful, even when my inclination is to do otherwise. We shall see what comes of this ...
Our earlier walk was so pleasant, and the day progressing so lovingly, that I stole away alone for another walk later in the afternoon. Now the reader must understand, I NEVER have or take the time to do this -- take two walks in one day, I mean - but today ... I DID. It was like being on vacation. What a treat. I must find a way to feel like I am on vacation more often.
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