Shattered

If you can't guess by the title of this post, the peace is gone. At least, for now.

"It" is back. I woke up today and knew I would have to live 15 minutes at a time, just like before. Because I can't see beyond the next 15 minutes -- not what to do, or what to feel, or ...

My sense of self feels shattered, in so many pieces. I don't even know where to look to pick the pieces up, or what they even look like, much less how to put them back together.

So, I got up today, made a reasonable to-do list, and then began my day. I will admit I am strictly on auto-pilot.

Dr. Gordon, in his text Unstuck, says that symptoms like mine signal the need for a change. DUH. But what space is there for personal change when DH is about to lose his job, and DD is about to get married, and x number of students depend on me to be prepared as they continue moving toward professional licensure, and .... ?